Dear Reader, Maybe you’ve seen the trailer for “Max Payne 3” already, but this one is annotated with little factoids from Rockstar that will contribute almost nothing to your opinion of the forthcoming shooter. You’re welcome.
Author: Andrew Allen
Dear Reader, You may hear that “Alan Wake’s American Nightmare” is impressive for a DLC title, but don’t let such a backhanded compliment fool you; at the core, this is a pretty disappointing experience. If you liked the original “Alan Wake,” you might have some fun revisiting an old friend, but for those on the fence, Remedy’s new title will do nothing to convert you.
Dear Reader, “The Darkness II” is, in a way, the future of gaming; perhaps the whole franchise is. Taken purely on the merits of its gameplay, it’s fairly middling, but thanks to a singularly gripping story, masterful control of tone, and some world-class voice acting, your hand stays glued on the controller. I wouldn’t say “The Darkness II” is better than “Halo” or “Gears of War,” but I’d gladly tell you it made me feel more. And maybe as narrative grows more sophisticated in gaming, that should start mattering to us.
Dear Reader, I have been a vocal opponent of Monolith’s “Gotham City Imposters” for some time, but now that the game is out and I’ve put some time into it, I’m willing to concede it’s not as bad as I feared. More or less a cut-rate “Team Fortress 2,” “Imposters” benefits from Monolith’s steady hand for game design, and even offers up some reasonably enjoyable deatmatch, but eventually crumbles under the weight of its inherently flawed premise.
Dear Reader, Activision released a screenshot and some new info on “Overwatch,” the new skyscraper-bound COD map that Elite players will get their hands on in a few weeks. “Overwatch drops you into a construction site atop a New York City skyscraper. The battle takes place along two levels in a near symmetrical layout, with the central bridge and side routes open to attack from multiple angles. Watch your every step, as a lack of safety barriers surrounding the perimeter leaves nothing between you and a 70 story fall to the ground below.” What do you think, guys?…
Dear Reader, Some of the best franchises in gaming are currently sitting on the shelf, without new iterations or reboots to continue their legacies, and I think that’s a shame. Let’s go through and pick five great brands that are being inexplicably ignored, and champion their cause for a new generation.
Dear Reader, Recently, I’ve stumbled upon an iOS game that you must purchase, but you can’t. It’s impossible to purchase. Because it’s free. And it makes “Infinity Blade” look like chump change, “Angry Birds” a meaningless distraction, and “GTA III”…no, actually, that one is still pretty cool. Curious? Hit the jump and I’ll tell you what this amazing game is.
Dear Reader, It’s no secret that I thought “Uncharted 3” was just a little underwhelming, so with rumors that “Uncharted 4” is more than likely in the works, I thought I should take a second and point out what I want to be different the next time around. God knows I love the franchise, and “Uncharted 3” was really good, but the franchise is at a turning point where it needs to show it can grow beyond its limitations. Hit the jump for some friendly suggestions to Naughty Dog.
Dear Reader, Shooter maps come and go, but every now and then one sticks out in your memory; it’s almost like a place you’ve really been. This article will list what I think are the ten best shooter multiplayer maps, and by “best” I mean “most memorable.” I’m not going to argue they’re the most tactically flawless, but simply that they were/are played the longest, and remembered the most. And in case you’ve seen this article before on another site, I’ve read most of them, and I have a few to add that everyone else missed. Hit the jump.
Dear Reader, A viral website called “nohopeleft” has appeared online, containing many pictures like the one below. Notice the “O”s resemble the “Biohazard” logo (“Biohazard” is RE’s name in Japan). Hmmm. Is this some Chris Nolan-esque marketing ploy for “Resident Evil 6?” IGN is reporting a connection between this site and a “Raccoon City” viral site, but I think there’s several even better reasons to suspect that this is RE6. Hit the jump to see ’em.
Dear Reader, With “Resident Evil: Revelations” on the verge of release (and receiving rave early reviews), not to mention “Operation Raccoon City” looming in March, it’s as good a time as any to take a look back the history of one of gaming’s biggest franchises. Rather than just list off every game in the series (you can check Wikipedia for that), I’ll point out the most memorable “Resident Evil” releases; from its grandest successes to its most embarrassing failures. Hit the jump and let’s have some fun.
Dear Reader, The rumor mill has been spinning wildly about new consoles at E3, but if you really look at the situation, it’s incredibly unlikely. I don’t think either the Xbox 720 or the PS4 will be unveiled at Electronic Entertainment Expo. I’m not psychic, of course, but here’s five solid reasons we may have to wait a while longer to enter the next generation.
Dear Reader, If 2012 really is the year the world ends, we’re goin’ out with a bang from a gaming standpoint. As we join hands and prepare to embrace the apocalypse, let’s take a look at the ten most promising games set to release this year, as well as the five least promising…relatively speaking. I don’t mean the five absolute worst games that are coming in 2012, just the noteworthy ones that are not shaping up well Hit the jump and let’s begin.
Dear Reader, Uh…just look at it. It’s amazing. I found it here.
Dear Reader, In spite of a wealth of negative internet reactions (and not just me), and an unimpressive E3 booth, the formerly talented Monolith Studios and WB are insisting that “Gotham City Imposters” come out. After the recently announced delay, I’d hoped some other studio had staged an intervention and brought them back to their senses. I imagined some very powerful executive holding the game, shaking his/her head vigorously as if coming out of a trance, and suddenly crying, “What the hell did we just do?” But no, the Batman game with no Batman or any other character you care…
Dear Reader, Today we pit MW3 against its industry rival, “Battlefield 3.” I’m sure you’ve been wondering why this hasn’t been a “Versus” article earlier, but I didn’t want to write it until I owned and had thoroughly played both titles. Now I have, so now I can write it. If you’re new to this, it’s simple: I argue both sides of an issue, and leave you to decide which emerges victorious. Although I usually feel one side is stronger, I’ll almost never reveal which, especially since the process of writing these often changes my allegiance. Here we go:…
Dear Reader, A few weeks back, Gabe Newell was trolled by some cretins on 4chan over email, which he turned into an opportunity to promise “something with a three in it” for E3 2012. This can mean only one thing: “Half Life 2: Episode 3” is going to be announced this summer. I’m making that prediction right now. You can read the email exchanges here and here. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “but Andrew, this could still be a reference to some other franchise!” No it couldn’t. It’s not “Left 4 Dead 3,” Valve barely survived the first sequel, and…
Dear Reader, Continuing my left-of-center yearly wrap-up piece, let’s look at threequels, unnecessary games, re-releases and botched stories in otherwise quality games. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it? It is! Hit the jump!
Dear Reader, Yeah, yeah, I’ll finish the 2011 wrap-up tomorrow, but for now, Wonderputt. Have you played “Wonderputt?” You need to. Badly. I found it on the AVClub’s Best Web Browser Games list, and it now owns me. I’m not normally down for these types of games, but this thing is so damned charming I can’t help myself. Yeah, yeah, you’ve played mini-golf games before, but wait till you see the beautiful art design, charming animations, and thoroughly satisfying challenges. I only wish the game wasn’t so short. I need more. Need. More. _AA very poor choice of words
Dear Reader, I’m bored to death with “Best of xxxx in Gaming” lists, so instead I’m going to hand out awards to whichever games I feel like, in no particular order, for what I consider noteworthy achievements and/or failures. I’m not going to numerically rank anything as above or below anything else, because I’m increasingly convinced that such practices are prohibitively arbitrary. So let’s talk, Dear Reader. Free of numbers games, free of competition, let’s just talk. How was 2011 in gaming? What went down? Who scored big, who bombed out, and who fell between the cracks? Hit the jump.
Dear Reader, Late-breaking news in the world of TMI, this new “Against All Odds” trailer for “Mass Effect 3” makes me feel…indecent. Ahem. Is it stuffy in here or what, could we crack a window or something? Must be those December heat waves Al Gore kept warning us about. Whew. But seriously, what do we have here? Combat rolling, sprinting, an even cleaner HUD, and unmistakably sharper graphics. There’s also more of an emphasis on movement and action. I think we can tell that “Mass Effect” is continuing its retreat from RPG Town and into Actionville. And much as I know…
Dear Reader, Even as I play “Grand Theft Auto III” on my iPhone, I don’t really believe it’s possible. I was already grappling with the reality of “Infinity Blade,” but I explained it away with the very linear range of movement, not to mention a seemingly endless ocean of bugs and glitches. This I cannot explain. Here is a massive Playstation 2 title, running at full speed with embarrassingly brief load times, on a phone. What in the hell kind of insane future world are we living in? I was never actually a big fan of GTA3, and replaying it here…
Dear Reader, Epic announced their new title, “Fortnite,” at the VGAs over the weekend, and the reaction to its goofy style and vague gameplay details has been mixed. For me personally, though, one question hangs in the air: doesn’t it look and sound a whole lot like “Dead Block,” that XBLA hybrid of zombie and tower defense that came out earlier this year? Consider the evidence: first of all, the cartoon artistic direction, which is obviously identical. Second, the existence of zombies. Third, the need to scavenge resources and protect buildings so that zombies cannot get in. Huh. Sounds…
Dear Reader, EA announced (although everyone already knew) at the VGAs this weekend that “Command and Conquer: Generals 2” would be produced by Bioware (!!!); and then, under its breath and muffled by a cough, added “Victory” to the end of that sentence. In other words, “General 2” will be made by some new company no one’s heard of called “Victory,” and they threw a “Bioware” on the front just to get the headline. Classy. It’s not that I mind some young upstart coming to the table; God knows Rocksteady Games has made me open-minded. But when Warner Bros announced…
Dear Reader, The new Xbox 360 OS isn’t that great, is it? Normally, I greet these little upgrades with enthusiasm bordering on giddiness, because it feels like you’re getting a brand-new system. But this time, I wonder if the whole thing wasn’t just a sham excuse to implement more Kinect functionality. There’s three things I don’t like in the new layout. First, Netflix, if any of you still use that service. The new horizontal rows are disorienting, they make looking for any given title a needle-in-a-haystack search. Second, the Friends page has taken a step backwards in functionality, because you…
Dear Reader, “Infinity Blade 2” was one of the best games I’ve played this year on any platform…until it deleted my character for no reason and forced me to start from the beginning of the game. Head on over to the Epic community forums and you’ll discover I’m not the only one. I love Chair Entertainment, and I love Epic, but this is completely unacceptable. RPGs are based on progression, progression is not possible when the game suffers bouts of amnesia. I don’t care how great IB2 is, until this is fixed, this game is a failure. And seriously, IB2…
Dear Reader, “Saint’s Row The Third” has won my heart with its over-the-top, self-referential comedy and brass-balls game design, but I feel like a terrible person for playing it. I know it’s a cartoon, and it’s not meant to be taken seriously, but for the love of God are we just trying to make the world think of us as sociopaths? It’s not just that you kill people in “Saint’s Row,” because I have no problem with violence. It’s that you kill bystanders, old ladies, children, police officers, United States Marines; the subtitle should be “Slaughter All The People You Shouldn’t…
Dear Reader, Blizzard just keeps flirting with the possibility of “Diablo III” on the consoles, even going so far as to post job openings on their web site, but they still haven’t announced a damned thing. This is driving me insane. Are we getting D3 on the consoles or not? Of course, cooing Blizzard softly into the land of Xbox and Playstation is like leading a skittish horse to water, especially after the atrocious experiences they’ve had in the past. Anyone remember “Starcraft 64?” I still shiver at the thought. But this is different. Consoles are much more powerful now, and “Torchlight”…
Dear Reader, Did you know that in “The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword,” Link performs an abortion on a teenager with his slingshot? It’s absolutely true. Okay, no it’s not, but I’m taking a page from politics and throwing random accusations at SS until something sticks and ruins its reputation. I’m out to get this game, Dear Reader. “Skyward Sword” must die. You know why? Because I’m sick and tired of hearing how it’s better than “Ocarina of Time.” No it’s not. Nothing is better than “Ocarina of Time.” Mahatma Gandhi wasn’t better than “Ocarina of Time,” and he was pretty damned…
Dear Reader, We all knew “Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim” was going to be popular, but selling 3.5 million units in two days and outpacing “Modern Warfare 3” on Steam goes beyond “popular” and into “hot damn” territory. And yet, the thing that amazes me most about ES5 is that it has converted me, at last, to the “Elder Scrolls” brand. I have logged dozens of hours with both “Morrowind” and “Oblivion,” begging either game to make a believer out of me; neither could. Even if we set aside Bethesda fondness for beating up on you in the early, formative hours…