http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FDds4ndiog&feature=player_embedded So apparently, somewhere in the world, there is a collection of super-human geniuses who decided that gamers should get to duke it out as sharks and scuba divers. This, I’m fairly certain, is the apex of man’s achievements in the world. Check out this Youtube video and beg for mercy from the awesome. Read more here, www.depthgame.com -AA i’d explain it, but there’s a lot of math
Author: Andrew Allen
Hello Dear Reader– For the uninitiated, “Talking To Games” is exactly what it sounds like: I personify a video game, and talk to it, trying to suss out some vaporous truth about its nature. Today I’m going to sit down with “Resistance 3,” the upcoming shooter threequel from Insomniac Games, and discuss politics, religion, and the current state of the Libyan crisis. Then, at some point, we’ll talk about gaming, and that’s the part I’ll actually transcribe for you.
Rockstar sent us word today about “Max Payne 3,” finally. We have brand new details, we have brand new pictures, and best of all, me throwing temper tantrums and making snide remarks. I have seriously mixed feelings about what I’m seeing here, Dear Reader. Want to know why? Hit the jump.
If Nintendo had a middle name, it would be “Crazy as a Fox.” The only thing you can count on from these clowns in the past decade is that you can’t count on anything. They relish making hard lefts away from industry trends, desperate for what they call “blue ocean” ideas that no one is trying (as opposed to “red ocean,” which is hotly contested territory). Now we have the next in their line of hair-brained genius schemes: Project Cafe. We won’t know for sure until E3, but with the hard push for HD graphics, improved processing power, and maybe…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWIjMUf5UqQ This new “F.E.A.R.” trailer is basically a trip down memory lane. And if you’re me, that’s cunningly effective. Is it weird to feel nostalgic about a cannibalistic sociopath and a female ghost that sexually assaults you? Because those are the memories I cherish.
It is almost exactly 24 hours since I last wrote a post complaining that PSN was rebuffing my attempts to invade its ladyparts. Since then, the situation has evolved significantly. Last night, PSN seemed intent on blaming me for my lack of access. It spouted a fancy code at me, and insisted some “Error” was taking place. Now, we have something more honest: Sony telling me to go away. Just get lost. PSN is basically just not answering the door. I can’t come out and play today, I have homework. What kind of maintenance, I wonder, is the !#$@#$% hold-up?…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnIirKPMP04
Hey Playstation owners. First of all, I’m disgusted to count myself among you. We’re a sad and miserable lot of Godless communists. Second of all, I’m sure you’ve noticed with the same sense of childlike wonder I have that PSN is politely declining to render services I pay good money for. Be reassured, a lot of people are getting this message right now, and have been for at least the last two hours. There’s nothing you can do, it’s not your fault, just bite down and wait for it to pass. Have you ever wondered what code 80710A07 means, or…
Is retail dead? Will we buy all of our games online in the very near future? More and more, game makers are finding ways to use digital distribution to revolutionize the business models and basic practices of the gaming community, leading many to wonder if the days of leaving your home to buy a game are dead and gone. Consider “Section 8: Prejudice,” sequel to the 2009 cross-platform multiplayer FPS. Developer Time Gate Studios is forgoing the path they tread with the original, instead releasing “Prejudice” as a $15 digital download without skimping on the features; they’re even self-publishing (Kevin…
“Portal 2” is a gaming orgasm. I’m sure you knew that already. Because its greatness has rendered my ability to write coherent sentences a little incx[sdf, I thought I’d just list some memorable quotes I’ve encountered so far. “Can you say anything? Okay, that was a jump. Jumping is what you just did there.” “AAH! Sorry, I looked down. I do not recommend it.” “Commencing smooth jazz in 3…2…1….” “AAAAAA? No, that’s not it. AAAAAB? No. AAAAAC? You’ve got to be joking!” “Here come the test results: you are a horrible person. That’s what it says. We weren’t even testing…
I was excited about “F3AR” before they started talking about multiplayer. This game had me spinning a circle when all I was thinking about was co-op, and maybe the giddy joy of strapping on Point Man’s boots again. That was enough. But it turns out, Day 1 Studios has other plans. They held a little confab in San Fransisco recently, and finally unveiled their plans for multiplayer in “F3AR.” The results are one of the biggest surprises in the gaming world this year. Hit the jump to see what they’re up to.
Holy monkey balls. We just received word from Valve about the much-hyped Steam support on the PS3 edition of “Portal 2.” As an avowed PS3 skeptic (in spite of the fact that I own one), no one would enjoy pronouncing this mountain a molehill more than me, but it’s just not possible. Sony and Valve have done incredible things with the PS3 edition of “Portal 2.” Hit the jump to read just how incredible.
Wait, what? So maybe you’re like me, Dear Reader, and you just wandered innocently into the awareness that something called “Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City” exists. You didn’t ask for the burden of this knowledge, oh no, but it’s here all the same. You now know, and can never unknow, that Capcom has handed Slant Six games the keys to “Resident Evil” and told them to make a team-based, tactical 3rd person shooter. There are five reasons that’s a terrible idea. Hit the jump to see them.
Man, I am going to miss waking up every Monday morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the knowledge that a new “Portal 2” trailer awaits me. And then I’m going to remember that “Portal 2” is actually out, and go play it until my eyes bleed. -AA I’d do it again. And perhaps a third time, but that would be it.
This one is really dynamite, has the “LA Confidential” feel down absolutely cold. The graphics aren’t quite doing it for me, but sandbox games usually have to compromise on that front. “Noire” will probably do the heavy lifting in the presentation, which I think we can all tell they’ve got pretty well figured out. -AA you oughta know, you bought it
Oh, you know it’s time for another edition of Versus, Dear Reader. You feel it in your bones. And far be it from me to deny you. For the uninitiated, here’s the straight dope: in an act of mental cannibalism, I attempt to simultaneously champion opposing positions of an argument, yelling from both sides of my face until I psychologically implode and no longer know what to believe. Then you, my Beloved Reader, decide which side holds more weight. And what is the topic today? “Battlefield 3,” the upcoming DICE release! Hit the jump, and let the games begin.
The mad dash of new “Portal 2” promotional material continues, and I say the more the merrier. For one thing, the thought of “Portal 2” gives me an indistinct warm feeling in my pants (you heard me). For another, these trailers are hilarious and beautiful. Why can’t it be two weeks from now already? -AA Yeah you were right about me
So apparently “Max Payne 3” isn’t dead after all. New images are popping up on Twitter, people at Rockstar are starting to talk, and even though the game doesn’t have a release date, it feels like it’s at least got a pulse again. That’s good news, I say! I liked “Max Payne,” and I adored “Max Payne 2.” Much like “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” has been brushed aside by “Sin City” and “300,” many people forget that MP was actually the original pioneer of the bullet-time mechanic as we know it today. And, in fairness, few have…
I know, I know, the trailers just keep rolling in today. But honestly, who’s complaining? “L.A. Noire?” I’m not tired of watching this stuff yet, and if you are, you’re a Godless communist. There, I said it. One of the things that “Noire” is really going to have its hands full trying to pull off is this Detective Mode thing. Games like “Condemned” and “Arkham Asylum” have toyed extensively with the gumshoe angle, and at best they break even. Both settle for you putting on special goggles and following a splatter pattern that an intern to the art department…
An interesting little piece with Steve Niles, the author of “30 Days of Night,” who allegedly “wrote” “F.E.A.R. 3.” His involvement is probably much more literal than the “consulting” that John Carpenter did on the thing, which I suspect amounted to looking at a few WMV files over email, with a beer in his hand, and asking if they could get some “titties” into the shot. Don’t get me wrong, I love John Carpenter, and you know I love “F.E.A.R,” but this whole “master of horror stops by and blows magic pixie dust on the game” thing makes…
Just got word from Rockstar that “L.A. Noire,” their much-balleyhooed revival of the Sam Spade procedural, has been made an official selection at the Tribeca Film Festival. Apparently, attendees will be treated to a “live interactive screening of a case,” so in other words you’ll play a level from the game. In the history of video games trying to walk, quack, and flap their wings like a movie, this is perhaps the most ambitious identity crisis yet. I think it’s cool that Tribeca is going to acknowledge a game, but I’m a little spooked by how the press release re-jiggers…
On today’s edition of “Talking to Games,” I have a fireside chat with the amiable “Dead Space 2.” Hilarity doth ensue. Hit the jump to find out how.
The 3Ds is out now. You can have one if you want. It’s a little surreal, isn’t it? The thing is just…out there. It doesn’t feel real to me. I remember a similar sense of bizarre disconnection from reality when the 360 was released, as well as the PS3. But I didn’t always feel this way. New systems used to land with a titanic crash, they used to shake the entire landscape around us. Something has changed in the world of gaming: we don’t release launch titles anymore. I mean technically we do, technically you have to. The 3DS has…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Za0ho-vvkXU&feature=player_embedded&oref=http%3A%2F%2Ffuriousfanboys.com%2F2011%2F03%2Fduke-nukem-forever-delayed-again%2F&has_verified=1 No. No you did not, Gearbox. You did not just push “Duke Nukem Forever.” You can’t. This is the un-pushable game. It cannot be nudged, shoved, tickled, cajoled or caressed. This thing has two speeds: “coming out when it was promised to us,” and “does not exist.” And I like you guys, Gearbox, I really do, but you just lost my vote. I don’t know if I’m buying the game now, but I know I’m not standing up for it anymore. Oh, I know, it’s a small push. Almost imperceptible; that’s honestly part of what makes it sting so…
Just got a hold of this here infograph about MVC3, thought it was fascinating enough to pass along to all of you. You’ll need to hit the jump to see it, though, because it’s kind of huge.
Just got word from OnLive that “Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood” is going live on their service tomorrow morning at 10 am. You might recall I reviewed OnLive a while back, and found it to be a pretty effective mediator platform if you’re a) a gamer who doesn’t want to drop a lot of coin on a power PC b) a Mac user who refuses to install Windows (good for you). For something like “AC: Brotherhood,” I actually think OnLive is a good option. Twitch-frag-fests like “Unreal Tournament” could suffer from the slight latency, but stalking someone through a crowd is pretty…
You’ve probably noticed by now, Dear Reader, that I don’t really do “reviews.” That’s kind of Eric’s thing, and he’s very good at it. I play a game for as long as I feel is necessary to get an impression about it, and then I tell you what those impressions are. It’s a completely informal environment, I don’t affix a number or some stars next to the title, and I try to avoid firm, declarative statements. “Homefront” blows. Whoops. Damn it. Let me try saying the opposite of that. “Homefront” sucks. Huh. That doesn’t sound much better. Oh English language,…
Take a look at the Metacritic page for “Dragon Age II.” Notice anything…wrong? Anything strike you as unusual there? Have you ever seen a game get that high a critical score, and simultaneously that low a user response? Especially from a fan favorite studio like Bioware, this is insanely unusual. You’re dealing here with a good game that the fans don’t like. What went wrong? I won’t go into a long thing here, because I think the reason for this backlash is very simple. You’ll have to hit the jump to find out what they did wrong, though.