Dear Reader,

Recently, I’ve stumbled upon an iOS game that you must purchase, but you can’t. It’s impossible to purchase. Because it’s free. And it makes “Infinity Blade” look like chump change, “Angry Birds” a meaningless distraction, and “GTA III”…no, actually, that one is still pretty cool.

"I HATE that John Appleseed douche, why does he always call?"

Curious? Hit the jump and I’ll tell you what this amazing game is.

It’s “Hero Academy!”

Designed by the geniuses over at Robot Entertainment, this free app is the ultimate way to test your mental acuity against that of your friends and/or strangers. A turn-based, isometric battle game with a charmingly goofy art style, “Academy” sees you commanding a small force of archers, soldiers, mages and ninjas as you attempt to destroy your enemy’s crystals while defending your own.

It’s a simple concept, with wrinkles adroitly thrown in by power-up items, special weapon and armor tiles, and unique power perks for each character; for example, a mage can string multiple targets in a single hit.

Of course, “Hero Academy” does have one little financial wrinkle: you may have to put down a dollar or two to buy more teams, as the guys and gals at Robot make more of them. But first of all, they cost like nothing, and second, the game is well enough balanced to keep it from being a necessity. There’s only one new team right now, the Dark Elves, and I’ve vanquished them many a-time with the standard units.

So anyway, go acquire this great title! And challenge me if you dare, my nickname is “Autoimmune.” But be warned: I wield the hammer of war without mercy.

_AA

we are very much alike, the commissioner and I 

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